


the way you look tonight

by Anonymous



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “seeing each other in seoul one last time before they drift apart.” based off evading’s works
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13
Collections: Anonymous





	the way you look tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evadings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evadings/gifts).



For once the traffic seemed to sing a symphony rather than the harsh squeal of breaks, curses, and engines fighting for attention. Everything began to blend together—the streets and the stars fusing into one for just. this. moment. 

Kim Mingyu loved many a moments and loved hard each and every time but he knew this was different. Joshua Hong was different. Their time spent together was different. This heartbreak would be different. Was different. Is different. He could feel the distance before truly realizing it. Mingyu was an expert at doubting himself and brushing off every important sign that would keep him safe. Keep him guarded. But that’s what made being loved by him so unique. He loved even after being tossed aside. Not a bitter bone rested under his skin—at least not for the boy with starlight in his eyes. At least not for the boy in his arms. 

Can one be the sole carrier of blame when a tide pulls both ships apart? He knew they were on two separate paths in life, in careers, in goals. Still, Mingyu liked to tell himself they could make it. That this time things would be different. That they had to be different because Joshua was different. His laugh. The way his hand felt against his skin. How he was at the perfect height for a forehead kiss. And even if he was taller than the other, Mingyu loved how protected he felt by the other. He knew he would never be hurt purposefully. Life hadn’t been exactly kind to the older boy. Some would call Joshua cursed. To Mingyu he was perfect. 

Professionals would say Mingyu had low self-esteem. Low self-worth. Bar to none in self-confidence. All Mingyu knew was that every breath felt crisper, sunrise brighter, and nightfall clearer since Joshua had entered his life. And now that they were parting ways....that hadn’t stopped. Mingyu felt grateful to have loved and be loved by him. It was an honor for their paths to cross, even if it’d leave permanent scar tissue on his heart—a wound worn proudly for ages to come. 

“Are you stepping on my feet on purpose or are you trying to give me a reason to leave mad?” Mingyu laughed softly. “Because you know I could never be upset with you.”

“I’ll never understand you.” Joshua tucked his temple against Mingyu’s chest. His steps kept faltering because he was too preoccupied counting heartbeats. “And I’m glad I never have.”

“I’ve never been insulted so sweetly before.” Mingyu pressed his lips against the top of Joshua’s hair. 

“It’s not an insult.” He laughs, nose wrinkling, eyes crinkling. Almost, just almost, tears threatened to well. “You’re one of a kind, Mingyu. If I could understand you, you’d be like all the rest.” He looked up at him, smile fond, eyes sad. Stare distant. Mingyu winced as another faulty step landed on his toes. “Sorry.”

“You know, we don’t have to do this.” Mingyu whispered.

“You know we do.” Joshua looked away.

“I know.” No longer holding his hand in one, arm around his waist, Mingyu shifted them both into a swaying hug. He didn’t care that they were on the sidewalk, both the music from an outdoor bistro and the streets melting into one soft call of looming independence. “I know.” He whispered again. Silence clung, close to suffocating but not quite. “We’ll stay in touch...right?” Mingyu didn’t even realize how his voice had given way.

“Of course.” Not even Joshua believed himself. The point of goodbyes was to end the chapter, close the book, put it back on the shelf and never touch it again. Goodbyes meant he was one step closer to hopefully never hurting again. 

“I’ll still love you.” Mingyu confessed, voice barely above a whisper. 

“You shouldn’t.”

“And that’s exactly why I will.” The swaying ultimately stopped. Cupping Joshua’s face, Mingyu looked down. “I’ll love you until you learn to love yourself, and then, maybe then, I’ll stop.” The subtle smirk tugging the corner of his lip showed Kim Mingyu had no intentions of ever not caring for Joshua. “You look stunning tonight by the way.”

“I know. You told me when you picked me up and during dinner. And dessert. And when we left the restaurant.” Joshua laughed, thankful that Mingyu knew how to read him well. “I always look stunning though so your commentary is lackluster.”

“How will I ever go on?” Mingyu burst out laughing. Its echos blew every ounce of tension away and for just one second, Joshua had almost convinced himself they could make this work. That he could learn to love properly and truly be the partner Mingyu deserved. 

A harsh blaring of a nearby car’s horn shattered the moment and Joshua was struck with reality: His life was still a vertical uphill climb of which he’d created his permanent dwelling at the bottom of with no intentions of moving.

Staring into Joshua’s eyes, Mingyu knew he was watching the last few seconds of the credits. Soon the theatre lights would turn on and the story of them would be officially over. 

“I should get going.” Joshua whispers.

“Me too.” 

Silence hung. “We’ll stay in touch, right?” Joshua surprised himself, the words fumbling out of his mouth.

“Of course.” Mingyu knew a lie when he tasted it, and for one sharp second hated himself even though he knew it was what Joshua needed to hear. 

“Goodbye, Mingyu.” 

...

“Goodbye, Joshua.”


End file.
